How to Improvise Agreement in a Chaotic World
Learn how to become an awesome negotiator.
Whatever you do in life, there is a good likelihood that your work will include some kind of negotiation. Of course, salespeople and bankers understand the need to negotiate the best possible price. However, negotiating is crucial in other vocations as well. You must negotiate when you need a wage raise or when you want to buy a new property.
In summary, everyone may profit from mastering some bargaining skills. These summaries will teach you how to apply those abilities.
In this book, you will find
Why is having the wrong map preferable to having no map at all?
What jazz artists can teach you about negotiating
Why negotiating is all about flexibility.
1. The secret to effective negotiating is to make a strategy ahead of time but not necessarily stick to it.
Imagine you're in a crucial wage discussion and you know precisely what you want: you're worth $120,000 per year, not less! - As a result, you are understandably demanding this amount. But what happens when they say no? Most likely, you will lose confidence and control of the bargain, leaving the table with significantly less than you intended.
It's fantastic that you knew exactly what you wanted. However, you had not developed a map that took into account a variety of acceptable courses and outcomes in order to maximize the effectiveness of your discussions.
Your plan should begin by establishing your ultimate aim, also known as your stretch goal, as well as multiple baselines, or minimum acceptable results. In this manner, if your bargaining partner does not accept your stretch objective, you will have another option to fall back on.
Baselines are vital since your negotiation partner's aims often conflict with your own.
If your stretch goal of $120,000 is refused during wage negotiation, you can revert to your baselines. Your baselines may be "a yearly salary of $100,000" or "$90,000 plus stock options."
Knowing where you're headed can give you the confidence you need to succeed. Making maps is not only practical but also serves another important purpose.
An active approach rescued a military patrol unit from possible death when they became lost in the Swiss Alps in the 1930s. The battalion was in danger of dying in the bush when one soldier discovered a map in his pocket and led the crew to safety. The odd thing here is that this was a chart of the Pyrenees, not the Alps!
However, the belief that they knew where they were going gave them confidence that they would make it out alive.
2. When preparing for a negotiation, think about several eventualities and don't forget your backup plan.
Just as you wouldn't cook a meal without first prepping the components, you should fully prepare yourself prior to talks.
Before addressing your negotiating partner, ask yourself, "When is the optimum moment to negotiate this specific deal?" You should always strive to plan negotiations at the best moment. You wouldn't, say, try to sell your ski equipment in the spring! You'd be wise to wait until the fall, when people are more interested in skiing and therefore your offer.
Then ask, "How likely is it that we will reach an agreement?" and How much would I profit from this agreement?" You should really contemplate putting in a lot of work on a deal that you believe is unlikely to succeed. It would be preferable to invest those resources in something with a higher possibility of success.
For example, attempting to barter down the price of veggies at a store would not get you very far. However, you could find yourself at a local farmers' market. If you're in the mood to haggle, focus your efforts there.
Even with the best preparation, things don't always go as planned. As a result, it's critical to remain adaptable, inventive, and open to devising a backup strategy.
In the author's negotiating classes, he frequently cites the example of a small business owner who wished to grow his firm by purchasing another small business in town. Unfortunately for him, the highest offer he could make was still far below the minimum amount that the other owner expected.
So, rather than buying the other firm, the small business owner offered to sell his own to his bargaining partner, resulting in a highly successful transaction.
As this example demonstrates, when your strategy has little prospect of success, you may have the opportunity to investigate solutions you had not previously considered.
3. Effective negotiators are psychologically and emotionally prepared.
Professional negotiators, despite their ability to maintain a calm demeanor, experience anxiety. Sometimes they are skeptical of their chances of achievement or are afraid of embarrassing themselves.
Nonetheless, as professionals, they can regulate their emotional responses, which is important in negotiations.
While you cannot control the events surrounding you, you can control your emotional response. Good negotiators must be able to embody several traits at once, including calm and attentive, patient and proactive, practical and inventive.
While each of these pairs appears to be a clear contradiction, they really go hand in hand. A surgeon, for example, must be calm and confident in his abilities while always vigilant for the likelihood of problems. A successful negotiator, like a surgeon, must maintain a strong emotional state at all times.
Identifying and avoiding situations that cause negative feelings is an excellent strategy to ensure that you're in the correct emotional place. For instance, scheduling additional time in the mornings to negotiate can help if you become irritated when caught in traffic.
Furthermore, successful negotiators avoid falling into "autopilot." A habit that has served you well in the past might be detrimental in the present, so never be overconfident about anything.
One effective approach to avoiding dozing off or going on autopilot is to pay attention to more than just what your discussion partner says. Pay attention not only to what they say but also to their body language.
So far, you've learned how to effectively prepare for discussions. Our following blinks will teach you what to do if things don't go as expected.
4. Don't be afraid to improvise! Channel your inner actor or jazz musician.
Successful negotiators understand that they must constantly expect the unexpected. But how can you prepare for the inevitable surprises?
You'll need to learn how to think on your feet or improvise, and the easiest way to do it is by thinking like an actress.
Improvisation is an acting approach that avoids memorizing material and instead focuses on spontaneous and unscripted exchanges. The cardinal guideline of improvisation is to "never say no." If one actor begins by saying, "Hi Patrick, how was Australia?" No one would respond with "Actually, my name is Andrew, and I recently returned from India." You work with what you've got!
The same is true for negotiations. Try not to say "no" unless the situation is absolutely unworthy of debate. Instead, attempt to work with the offer.
Furthermore, performers maintain a calm demeanor under pressure and do not panic about what to say next. Do not strive to discover the ideal solution at the negotiation table. This is not only unachievable, but it will also result in worry and hesitancy.
Instead, approach discussions as if you were an improvising actor, and believe that with proper preparation and mental presence, you will always be able to provide a nice response, even if it is not the greatest.
Jazz players can teach you a lot about improvisation. While symphonic musicians read notes from a sheet, jazz players may create a masterpiece without using sheet music by listening, adapting, and influencing one another through melodies and rhythms.
Similarly, adjusting to circumstances, listening closely, and persuading people are critical for success in negotiations. It's critical that you grasp what the other side wants and expects from the discussion. Only by paying great attention to small indications, such as their voice tone or nonverbal signs of anxiousness, will you be able to determine whether to discuss or avoid specific issues throughout the conversation.
5. Good decision-making requires foresight and keen observing abilities.
What similarities exist between chess and negotiation? Both need experience and forethought.
A psychological experiment randomly set chess pieces on a chessboard and distributed them to participants. After a brief glimpse of the board, participants had to replicate the configuration of the chess pieces.
The results showed that all of the professional chess players' expertise and experience did not help them reconstruct the board. In reality, they performed no better than the typical participant.
However, professional players significantly outperformed when the experiment involved configurations from a real chess game. They remembered comparable games from the past and used those memories to construct the board.
Your knowledge and experiences determine your ability to perceive the other party's proposals or tactical movements in negotiations. While your experience develops with each negotiation you conduct, you may complement your abilities by reading negotiation books, attending seminars, and witnessing other people bargain as much as possible.
Returning to chess, even the greatest players cannot foresee every conceivable move. After 80 steps, they would have more alternatives to ponder than the number of stars in our galaxy!
It is impossible to track potential lines of play. Instead, chess professionals predict the courses of play that appear to have the highest probability of winning the game.
In a negotiation, this implies taking into account the choices with the largest potential advantages and the best chances of agreement (based on previous success).
However, your decision may always be incorrect. Your opponent, in both chess and negotiation, may be able to see through your tactical movements, forcing you to completely modify your strategy.
That is why improvisational skills are so crucial!
6. The initial few minutes at the negotiation table are essential.
People frequently remark, "You never get a second chance to make a first impression," which is especially true in negotiations. First impressions determine both the tone of the negotiation and your relationship with the negotiating partner. As a result, it's critical that you follow these guidelines:
First, watch your language! Use words and phrases to stress your common interests. For example, instead of stating, "I need to do X," say, "Let's solve this problem together."
Second, become mindful of your posture. Although you may not realize it, your posture can have a significant impact on your mood. If you stand up straight and avoid crossing your arms, you will feel confident and positive, and others will see you as such.
Once you've made a good first impression, you may decide whether to accept or reject an offer.
Only say "no" when the offer is completely impractical. If the offer is workable but not perfect, it is frequently worthwhile to continue the conversation. If this bad offer is their first, there is probably room for improvement. Just be mindful that pushing the other side too far may end in a no-deal.
If you need to reject an offer but don't want to lose the contract entirely, you can use the yes-no-yes technique.
Consider the following scenario: a working mom's boss asks her to work on a new project over the weekend.
To say "yes" to her obligations as a mom, she must say "no" to her job. However, if she innovates, she can still comply with her boss's demands, such as volunteering to design a system that rewards infrequent weekend work with free afternoons during the week.
Using the yes-no-yes technique, you may remain true to your own objectives while still accommodating the other person's interests, enabling the negotiation to continue.
7. Innovation and a new viewpoint can help overcome seemingly insurmountable difficulties.
At times, you may find yourself trapped in a negotiation. So what should you do? Give in or be creative?
Thinking beyond the box is not simply a cliche; it is important. Sometimes it's the difference between success and months of wasted effort.
The writer writing FDR's biography turned over a 1400-page draft to his publisher. The publisher asked him to significantly reduce its length, leading to the termination of the contract to avoid wasting all of his efforts.
Fortunately, he eventually discovered another publishing house that appreciated his work as it was and proposed that he divide it into two volumes.
Both volumes were tremendous successes and are still in print today, but this was only possible because the second publisher was ready to go beyond the typical "one person, one biography" approach and divide the content into two books.
Creativity also entails incorporating an outsider's perspective. In fact, studies have shown that people are more adept at solving issues for others than for themselves. This psychological barrier between ourselves and others might help us perceive things from a different perspective.
Consider how simple it is for you to provide counsel to your friends when they are struggling, while you too struggle when you are in the same circumstance. Detaching yourself from the circumstances may enhance your understanding.
It's also vital to think beyond financial terms. When we consider value in terms of money, a negotiation is frequently a zero-sum game in which the more one party gains, the worse off the other party gets. However, there is always a method to guarantee that everyone benefits! One method is to provide security.
For example, if you're a basketball player, you could be more inclined to take a lower-paying offer if it means you'll have a longer deal. What you lose in money, you gain in security, which sweetens the bargain.
8. Now it's time to seal the deal.
All of your preparation for the negotiation is pointless if you don't know how to clinch the deal and encourage your negotiation partner to say yes in the future.
It's critical to always be truthful and polite. This not only helps you clinch the transaction, but it also increases the likelihood that your negotiating partner will agree with you in the future.
When it comes down to it, would you want to make a deal with someone you believe is attempting to deceive you? Even when it is difficult to be honest, it is essential for developing the types of connections that lead to repeat business.
However, politeness alone will not complete the transaction. You should also embrace the following essential rules:
First, highlight the loss. According to research on loss aversion, individuals are considerably more inclined to agree with you if you focus on what they could lose rather than what they might gain.
Consider the following scenario: You want to persuade your boss that your firm should support a new initiative. You may improve your chances of success by emphasizing not only the possible rewards, such as acquiring new clients, but also the severe repercussions of not participating, such as losing business to inventive competitors.
Second, keep things basic. According to research, when presented with too many alternatives, people are less likely to make a decision.
In one renowned study, for example, researchers gave grocery consumers samples of several jams. Thirty percent of the participants, who were given only a few options, chose to buy a jar. However, just 3% of those given a choice of 24 distinct flavors chose to purchase any!
Avoid confusing your bargaining partner with an excess of options. Just stick to the few solutions that you believe have the most possibility of success.
9. Follow your personal principles and treat others with the same respect you would like to receive.
Imagine you want to buy a cottage in the woods. One day, you come upon a "For Sale" sign on a charming small house, and the owner, a kind-looking old woman, invites you in for tea.
Her asking price is quite modest, so you might easily afford it.
So, what do you do? Accept the offer right away, make her a counteroffer for less, or convince this kind elderly lady that her house is worth much more.
Let's say you buy the house for the asking price without hesitation. However, upon discovering the construction of a new highway nearby, you opt to sell the house. A young couple is interested in the property and wonders why you want to sell it in the first place.
What are you doing? Do you tell them the truth or lie about your motivations?
While these questions may be difficult to answer, they do provide insight into the bargaining process.
First and foremost, as a buyer, you should always ask precise questions regarding the item's condition and the circumstances behind the transaction. When questioned directly, most individuals will tell the truth.
Second, as a seller, you should constantly evaluate what information you can provide prospective purchasers. However, try to put things in perspective: consider if you would advise someone else to do the same in your circumstances or whether you would expect people to treat you the same way. And don't forget, how people perceive the transaction will be how they remember you forever!
If the elderly lady was your grandmother, wouldn't you want purchasers to give her a fair price? And wouldn't this young couple expect to be notified of the upcoming construction?
Finally, it is up to you to manage negotiating ethics as you see fit. Reflect on your emotions if the scenario were reversed.
Final Summary
Negotiations, like people, are unique. Each has its own eccentricities, so the ability to think quickly and improvise is essential.
Actionable Advice:
Make some time for meditation this evening.
According to studies, yoga and meditation can help lower stress while also increasing problem-solving abilities and productivity, all of which are important in negotiations.
Additional reading: Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler.
We've all been in situations where sensible discussions quickly spiral out of control, and important conversations delve into the underlying causes of this phenomenon. You'll learn how to handle such talks and transform them into good, solution-oriented discussions, all while avoiding high-stakes confrontations.